We Need to Talk about Kevin - Supernatural Season 8 Episode 1 PREMIERE

*This review contains spoilers.*

OMG OMG OMG OMG! IT'S FINALLY HERE! Yayayayaya! It's actually happening!

• It's been said before and will be said again by more elegant fingers than mine, but Dean and Sam Winchester are two of the sexiest men around. 
• Oh, Lord, did I miss this show. 
• One year later! Oh, whoa! God, I love the shot of that hazy wilderness...and, of course, they're in the tent and the monster is outside...no, wait, DEAN! IT'S DEAN! Beautiful, wonderful Dean! 
• Ah, here comes the classic hit! And Dean is so ruggedly sexy striding down the road in his layers. 
• Ah, the classic Winchester scene of digging up a grave....whoa, whoa, Dean has a molten arm...awesome special effects...and he conjured...who, exactly? A vampire....hmm....
• And Sam has a wife or girlfriend and a dog? In Texas? With long, beautiful locks? THE IMPALA! 
• THEY'RE TOGETHER! Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Oh, Dean, cautious as ever. YES! Winchester bro hug! The best kind! 
• Yes, where's Cas? Didn't make it? What? What?! Let go? What does that mean, Dean? Aaaah, don't  leave me like this! 
• What?! Sam doesn't hunt anymore? No, no, no, the show is about them two hunting together...no, no, boys don't fight! 
• Oh, no, Sam, please tell Dean you looked for him...oh, poor Dean! Aw...oh, this is excruciating!
• Just a thing, is it me, or have their voices gotten deeper? It's a good thing, haha, still sexy, of course. 
• Oh, whoa...poor Kevin Tran! 
• Oh, no, Dean, don't chastise poor Sammy! 
• Whoa, whoa, there has to be a "we"...okay, good. 
• Ah, yes, they're packing up on the Impala. And Dean is back behind the wheel of his baby! Yes! \
• Flashback to Purgatory? Yes, please! Oh, here's the guy from the beginning! 
• Okay, whoa, commercial break, I get to breathe. I can't get over that this is actually happening! Aaaah! 
• Okay, okay, they are back in a hotel room together! Life is so freaking awesome! Sam has beautiful hair and Jensen has beautiful skin. 
• Whoa, whoa, whoa, where is Sam's concern for humanity? 
• A girl? Ah yes, which girl? Wait, there isn't a girl anymore? He left her like that? Oh, Sammy found Amelia and her dog...
• Aw, poor Dean on the floor at the end of the bed, all emotional and stuff. 
• Another flashback...that guy, Benny, again! Ah, a human portal...a deal, I see. 
• Damn, Channing is a stuck up bitch....who slices her roommate's throat! WHOA! Channing is possessed! 
• Flashback to Sam's family life? Oh, damn, what happened to the poor puppy? 
• Aw, he buys Dean a burger! Aw, so cute! And Dean's pleasure at eating it is adorable. 
• To Iowa! And Kevin has a gun?! Oh, holy water or something...Kevin is okay, okay good. Hmmm, how did you escape, Kevin? ANOTHER Word of God? Demons? Hellgates? In Wisconsin? It would be Wisconsin...they would have a hellgate, they just would...oh, whoa, Kevin Tran you are a badass. Banishing all demons and closing the gates of hell? Yes! 
• Oh, no, boys don't fight! Wait, wait, if they kill all the demons, what will happen to the show? 
• Oh, Sammy is being idealistic again, I love him. 
• YES! Back to Amelia and the dog! Ouch, she is a bit bitchy here. Beautiful skin, though. 
• It's Purgatory? What does that mean...oh, yes! Fight scene! God, did I miss this! 
• CROWLEY! Haha, "There's a demon in you and you're going to your safety school" is without a doubt the best line ever!
• Damn, Kevin is a total badass! 
• Oh, shit, Channing! 
• Oh, yes, Kevin, Sam and Dean know all about girls dying on them...they've got the Winchester dicks of death, according to my badass roommate Catherine. 
• Whoa, the relationship between Benny and Dean is certainly interesting....

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

Best premiere ever! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it! Watch it!

Thanks for reading!