The Siege at Forli - The Borgias Season 2 Episode 7

Yet another commentary on yesterday's episode of the Borgias by me. 

• Here comes Juan...riding a horse indoors. The audacity!...okay, I love it. 
• ...and Juan totally brings back a panther trained to kill his sister. 
• "Vanities?" Tell me this is not the Bonfire of the Vanities....
• Okay, the Pope getting a cigar for the first time is hilarious!
• Wow, Juan works fast ;) Oh, my God, tell me he doesn't have syphilis or something.
• Okay, I laughed out loud at Lucrezia's cigar comments. 
• ...and Juan definitely has an STD. Haha, the look on his face over the umbrella-like gadget thing. 
• This Angelo kid needs a therapist. 
• Ah! This is in the Bonfire of the Vanities! Oh, no!
• Oooh! Battle! My prediction: Juan gets his ass handed to him by Caterina Sforza. 
• What kind of epic walking music is this? Oh, Lucrezia, don't marry this guy! He has a terrible intro score. 
• Haha! "Our daughter's pet...goes everywhere with her." Oh, that cracked me up! ...Is she going to get that thing to bite him?
• Calvino doesn't do it for me...but Raphaelo...ooh, Raphaelo! 
• I freaking LOVE her. 
• I love Caterina as well, this is great stuff!
• Juan, you bastard! NO! There was supposed to be an epic battle and you're taking her son? You slimy git! (I'm not British, I've just always wanted to use that word ever since I read it in Harry Potter.) Ah! I'm so pissed, Caterina was having such a strong moment and then damn Juan had to go and steal her son...he smoldered rather attractively while doing so, but still. Juan! Seriously? You're going there? Oh. Oh! OH! He is such a jackass. 
• Ooooh, Lucrezia getting all dolled up! Yes, go for Raphaelo!
• Uh-oh...oh, poor Caterina's son....oh, Juan, you bastard!...Thank you, Spanish dude! I like him. 
• ....You gotta love Cesare's decision not to send a messengers. 
• Am I the only one who wanted Michelletto to kill one of those little brats? 
• Oh, I'm loving Lucrezia and Raphaelo! What a line! Oooh, he's funny, too! And complimentary, too. Ah, a little direct, there...but, he knows what love is! *gasp* Kiss! Kiss! Ah, yes! 
• Yeah, Machiavelli! You tell that little bastard! Hahahahahahahaha! 
• Aw...poor Caterina's son. Okay, she's a little hardhearted...Yes!!!!!! Juan got shot! I hate that bastard! 
• I like Vanozza and Lucrezia's conversation about love. 
• Nooooo! Don't you burn that Botticelli! NO! Oh, God, the horror! I can't bear to look! Not the Primavera! Aaaaaaaaah! Oh, I can't handle this! This is sacrilege! 
• Get him Michelletto! Get him! Okay, fine, just stare ominously. 
• Uh-oh, I hope they're not going to hang Caterina's son....don't go to Rome, Caterina! I love Rodrigo, but I just want her to stay strong here for some reason. Oh...oh...flashing the opposing army while telling Juan to go to hell? Oh, that was badass!
• Yeah, Spanish dude!
• The shit is hitting the fan, and where is Juan? Galloping away, I see....now fleeing on foot. I hope somebody catches him...but I also don't, you know?

Thanks for reading!

Day of Ashes - The Borgias Season 2 Episode 6

*This review contains SPOILERS*

Yet another awesome episode of Showtime's The Borgias!

1. It's always a surprise to see Rodrigo doing actual Pope-y things, and very surprising to see him washing an old lady's feet. 
2. These people of Savonarola's are very creepy and cultish...oh, no! Tell me he's not cutting her hair! No! Not the hair! Nooo! (I have this thing about hair, I think the longer the better, and seeing someone have their hair lopped off is and always has been very traumatic for me.) Oh, and the flagellants, that's messed up, too. 
3. Uh-oh, Piero and the woman with him better get out of there! 
4. Please, please tell me that della Rovere is not poisoning that boy. Don't do it! 
5. Okay, I loved the scene with Rodrigo in the confessional...It's fascinating to see this penitent aspect of the Borgia Pope that everyone hates so much...
6. ...and Cesare barges in...and tells his father he killed Giovanni and did it with Caterina. OH, this is riveting! Wow, the tension between Rodrigo and Cesare here is just magnificent. 
7. "So...we shall dine on sardines." That was so epic. 
8. Oooh...tete-a-tete between Ascanio Sforza and Savonarola...this can't end well. The way he says all the sodomites will burn in hell is so ... gleeful. Whoa! Throwing the cap? What audacity. 
9. ...Cesare is strutting around in leather pants again. ;)
10. Oh, no...Lucrezia is about to get another bomb dropped on her. I am loving this defiance from her. 
11. Hahahaha! Giovanni Sforza fell onto a knife Cesare happened to be holding? Oh, that is priceless!
12. I was expecting more between Machiavelli and Cesare. I know how much Machiavelli admired Cesare (The Prince and all), so I expected a more intriguing dynamic, I guess. 
13. Yes! More Guilia, Vanozza, Lucrezia! I love them together! They're really striking fear into the hearts of the Cardinals. 
14. I'm loving the Cesare/Rodrigo balcony scene...
15. Something about Cesare's desire to command the Papal armies strikes me as stemming as a deep sense of feeling like Juan was the favored son and a desire to prove himself to his father. 
16. I'm kind of excited to see the Doge of Venice's nephew...Ooh, he's brought a wolfhound. "The man or the dog?" I like that a lot! "No to them both!" Oh, I am so loving Lucrezia right now. 
17. Oh, Cesare is storming Savonarola's church! This is getting good! Hahahahaha! "I will use it wipe my ass." Seriously? I don't know if that was badass or ridiculous! 
18. Did that little boy just accuse Cesare of being a sodomite? I really, really hope they didn't reveal Michelletto was gay just to have him hook up with Cesare! If Cesare is gay, what hope is there for straight women? Let's cross our fingers this is not foreshadowing!
19. Aw...come on, Rodrigo, let Cesare be a soldier! Oooh, I knew this was a brother thing! Stupid Juan is coming back to wreck everything! How can Rodrigo be so blind? I think he's harsher on Cesare because he wanted Cesare to grow up in his footsteps, i.e. the Church, and Cesare wants to be a solider so badly because he can please his father better that way...I don't know, and nobody asked for a psychoanalysis by me, so I'll shut up now. 

Thanks for reading!

Mary, Queen of Scots (1971)

I sat down to watch this movie because I had an awful weekend and nothing, I repeat, nothing, makes me feel better like old movies. I have quite a collection, many from Half-Price Books and I love them. Here's why.

1. First off, the sets are freaking real. This stuff is filmed on location, in actual centuries old castles. I firmly believe that you can feel that and I LOVE it. 
2. Likewise, the rooms are always so small, and the lighting is always the same but it's just so perfect because its affectation is so genuine.
3.  I feel about this the same way I do about 1968's Romeo and Juliet, you know? I absolutely love that the costumes look like costumes. Everything is so bright and vibrant and Technicolor and the lack of CGI is amazing. 
4. And the acting! It's classic, that's what it is. I guess I like old movies like this because they just bring up warm, fuzzy nostalgic times. The people look like they are acting, it's like a play, only I'm watching it on a screen. I can't put my finger on it, but I love, love, love old movies like this one, and recommend you check out at least one. 

The Departed - The Vampire Diaries Season 3 Episode 22

*This review contains SPOILERS and was written as I watched, so please forgive any typos*

Oh, my God! What a finale!

1. Okay...Elena is a cheerleader? Wait...Mom?! Oh, hospital scene, I see. That was a clever opener. I liked that a lot!
2. Oh, no! Alaric ...wait, and Meredith just stands there? Okay, that teary face was pathetic. Stab him or something!
3. I love Caroline! She is so sweet! 
4. A look at Elena/Matt? Yes, please! They are adorable in that football player/cheerleader way. Not that Elena doesn't have a soulmate already in Damon Salvatore, love of my life. 
5. "It's not right what I'm doing to them, either." FINALLY! I have been waiting for this since season 2! Thank you! ...Wait, which one? Stefan gets let go of course. Here he comes...oh, no! What if she doesn't end up with Damon?
6. ELIJAH!?!?!?! Aaaaaaah! Yeeessss! I am so an Original sympathizer.
7. God, I love Damon! Always interjecting humor into these tense situations. 
8. Aw, Elijah wants his brother back! How cute!
9. Uh-oh, I do not like the Mom brigade...okay, they're not mind-controlled by Alaric (too much TV = paranoid me), just harbingers of bad news. Oh, my God! Tyler and Caroline running away?
10. Oh no! Oh no! Matt! No! Jeremy, don't! No! No! NO! NO!
11. Oh, that was a fake out. Haha, not that I was worried or anything like that. 
12. I'm not sure I like the Tyler/Caroline running thing. There's always the moment when young, in love couples say "Oh, let's meet up and then start our glorious, romantic lives together." But, you know that's not going to happen. I mean, for heaven's sake, it's like Romeo and Juliet in here!
13. Oh, God. Was she going to let Stefan go or confess her love? This is killing me, I need - *GASP* What a kiss! *GASP* Is she choosing Stefan? Do I want her to? *Dramatic music swell* Ah! This is killing me! 
14. Oh, no! Alaric!? Damn! Aw! Damon! I hate it when they kill him!
15. It's very endearing that Matt sucks at tea. Just saying. 
16. Stefan?! No! Not Stefan! Damon! NO! Damon's not a problem! He's Damon! Damon as in P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N! 
17. Matt drugged her? That bastard! Oh! OH! I so rescind number 15. 
18. Uh-oh, I don't want Rebecca to die!Thank God the coffin was gone! Uh-oh! 
19. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! KLLLAAAAUUUUSSSS! Noooooooooooooo! NO! NO! NO! NO! I loved Klaus! No, no, no! That bastard, that goddamned bastard! Poor Rebecca! Ugh, I am so pissed off. 
20. Oh, God, no! Drive to Damon or Stefan? What? NO! This is unbelievable! I cannot handle this!
21. "Matt's taking me home." NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Driving to Damon would have been the ultimate gesture! Oh, Elena, you b*tch! If you'd have seen the look on his face!
22. Oh, no! Damon, sweetheart, don't ask that. No, no, no! Don't do this to yourself, she's not worth it! Oh, OH! This is destroying me. I cannot believe this! What the hell is wrong with you Elena Gilbert? Damon has saved your life and cares about you and needs you and loves you and is perfection itself and you choose Stefan? Oh, no! 
23. And if that wasn't enough, Caroline and Tyler are dying together. Un -freaking- believable. I cannot handle this level of emotional trauma! Oh, my God! 
24. Aw, sweet Elijah and Rebecca moment. Wait...if it wasn't Klaus and it wasn't Kol or elijah or Rebecca, then who was it?
25. Holy shit! Klaus IS Tyler? What the hell? Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!
26. My God, they went over the bridge! Wow! I love the whole full circle thing here!
27. Wait...Damon and Elena met in the past? Damon and Elena flirted in the past? 
28. Oh, my God! This song? The truck underwater? This is ripping my insides out! Matt? Matt!
29. Oh, God! Damon seeing Rick die and knowing about Elena...Rick? Rick is a ghost? 
30. WHAT?! WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? Elena's dead! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, I cannot express the depths of my grief! I'm sorry I called you a b*tch Elena! *Sobs hysterically*
31. AAAAAAAAAAAAH *Blogger has conniption fit* Elena, a vampire! Ah! AH! Holy shit! Oh, dear God! Is the CW trying to give all their views heart attacks? I don't think that'll do well for ratings!

Wow! More on this episode tomorrow! Whoa! Thanks for reading! Oh my God!

Purchase of a Lifetime!

Lookie what I bought!!!!!!




Aaaaaaaaaah! *Swoon*

If you are literate, you should be reading Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments series! Ah, I'm so excited! My review will be coming soon!

The Choice - The Borgias Season 2 Episode 5

With a one minute and thirty second "previously" section, you just knew this was going to be a deep episode. I can't say that's an excuse for being a full twenty-four hours late, but hopefully you'll forgive me.

*THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. It was also written as I watched, so please forgive any grammatical mistakes.*

Without further do, the review:

1. I really like the Lucrezia, Vanozza and Guilia trifecta of awesome. Strong women, ravishing costumes and witty dialogue? Yes, yes and yes!
2. I just love how, on the way to Florence, Jeremy Irons gallops off going "To Florence, and that heretic Savonarola" or something...it just struck me as very endearing. I have no idea why, it just did.
3. The glimpse into Micheletto's home life was ... something else. Cesare's interaction with his mother was absolutely priceless. And Micheletto ... well, that was eye-opening.
4.  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Micheletto is GAY! 
5. Oooh...shirtless Cesare! Oh. My. God. Cesare and Caterina?! Not that I reject any naked Cesare...but, still, her? Well, that was a very domination/submission type love scene.  O.o ...And a really intense wake up scene.
6. The lightning storm thing was AWESOME! And Rodrigo with the child? Aw!...Oh, no! He died! :'(
7. OH, my God! Cesare killed Giovanni Sforza! Oh, my God! Oh, God! That scene and its immediate aftermath were amazing. 
8. That last scene...poor Rodrigo!

This was a really, really, really great episode and you should definitely watch it if you haven't!

The Avengers

So, ever the slave to media hype, I watched The Avengers this weekend. I've never touched a comic book in my life, so this is really not my thing. Then again, I do try to watch most major movies.  I didn't particularly like the Captain America one or The Hulk...but I did really like Thor...perhaps because of Chris Hemsworth ... as well as Iron Man...though definitely because of Robert Downey Jr. ... so I decided to try this movie.

*This review may contain SPOILERS, so read at your own risk if you haven't seen the movie.*

1. The special effects were, as expected, excellent...but was the flying aircraft carrier really necessary? 
2. Okay, that old man standing up to Loki and then Captain America rescuing him, even I have to admit, was pretty cool. 
3. ...Chris Hemsworth is still ridiculously attractive, in case any of you were wondering. And fairly funny, too. Particularly the "He's adopted." line. 
4. And, of course, Robert Downey Jr. was Robert Downey Jr., AKA phenomenal! 
5. I didn't get bored once, like I usually do during explosion-a-second flicks like this one. 
6. If you haven't been able to tell, I came into this movie expecting to hate it: big budget action flick with tons of special effects, CGI and Scarlett Johannson as eye candy. But, for some reason, I didn't! It kept me engaged, and, while, obviously, there wasn't as much focus on the human aspect as in, say, a film adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel, I still cared about the characters. A lot. 
7. This did have some humor interspersed with the action, and the enemy ships at the end, shaped like fish or whatever, were really cool. 
8. As much as it pains me to say that I enjoyed a movie that didn't have romance in it, I really did like this movie. Well, I mean, technically, there was witty romantic banter and some kissing between Tony Stark and Pepper Potts (that name!), but I don't really count that as romance per se. I'd say the best example of a romance in a movie like this was between Natalie Portman and Chris Hemsworth in Thor. Considering the genre, I thought that was adequate. But, hey, you can't have everything, and I really was surprised by how much I liked the Avengers. 

The Verdict: You should definitely see this movie. Even if you're romcom/epic romance/period drama fanatic  like me, you should still see this movie once. It's worth the time, even if you don't love it. 

Thanks for reading!

Before Sunset - Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 21

*SPOILER ALERT*

Whoa! Alaric! What a bastard!
Wow...Klaus is vicious, but so hot.
Poor Caroline!
I LOVE that Klaus was the one to find Caroline...that moment was fabulous!
Oh! Why did he have to go and bleed Elena!
Oooh! Tyler kicked ass in that argument with Klaus!
Nooooo! Not Klaus!!!!
Uh-oh! Jeremy! Oh, thank God!
Oh, my God! What Elena said to Damon and Stefan on the doorstep! Selfish, selfish, selfish! Ugh, sometimes I can't stand her!
Their little victory party was sweet!
Oh, my God, I hate Alaric so much!
Damon and Stefan at the end were just...I don't even know...adorable in an almost tragic way, because you know that, eventually, there will be serious Elena fallout.
I'm not sure I'm okay with the implication that Damon wouldn't turn Elena if they ended up together. And I hate that she is stringing them along like that.
And Elena passes out...wtf.

That was a pathetic review, sorry!

Delirium by Lauren Oliver

Oh, my God! This book has been setting in my "to read" stack for at least three weeks - maybe even a month - and I can't believe I waited this long to read it! It should have been pulsing with awesome or something! My God, this was it! The perfect book! It's set in a dystopian future where love has been declared a disease and everyone is given a "cure" at age eighteen (basically like a lobotomy). The story centers on Lena, who meets a man, Alex, who is from the Wilds, i.e. the unregulated lands.

My Thoughts

1. This book is to die for! I don't even want to dissect it, but here we go!
2. This book was so enthralling and engaging and heartwrenching and ravaging and ravishing and raw and real and wonderful and amazing and beautiful!
3. The world of this book is so meticulously created to parallel our own - Romeo and Juliet is still read in freshman English classes - and I really, really love that. The way that the author uses quotes and such from official government publications at the beginning is really phenomenal in terms of world creation. 
4. Lena! Oh, wow! I loved Lena! She thinks of herself as no one special, then she lets herself fall in love and feel and think and be and, my God, is she a wonderful character!
5. Alex!!!!! Oh, he is perfection! I cannot get enough of the way the author describes his hair as a crown of fire/thorns/glory etc. It is just phenomenal. He is just phenomenal. He opens Lena's eyes to the world, but he is also such a real guy. I also LOVE that he shares Shakespearean sonnets and Elizabeth Barrett Browning poems with her. That's how you know you've got a good guy. I cannot gush about him enough!
6. As someone who has never been in love, I found the idea of experiencing love through the perspective of one who has never even considered "love" as an option to be beyond magnificent. It was amazing! Honestly, the entire time I was reading this book, I was getting that feeling that you get, when you feel like your heart is too full and you can't talk and you think your heart might just burst through your chest? That might just be me, but you get the idea. 
7. One of my favorite scenes was in Alex's home in the Wilds, when Lena asks him what poetry is, and he reads some. Even though I'm no stranger to poetry, it's also a really rapturous experience to see something like that through the eyes of a person like Lena. It's like, you read a poem, you go "that's a good poem" and you think, well, of course it's good, it's poetry that's endured forever. But, Lena's reaction just made me appreciate it all the more, things like poetry and beauty and stuff. Like, I genuinely stopped to muse on how grateful I am to own several books of poetry and how beautiful things can be. 
8. Speaking of beautiful things, the imagery in this book and the author's writing style was beyond magnificence, into full-fledged glory. A recurring theme is Lena's emergence from the fog of her previous life, into the awe of the world around her (the real world)  and her appreciation for passion and love and that is something that really appeals to me. Just, the metaphors - particularly the fire ones - and the raw, seething, teeming emotion was just incomparable. And, that last image of Alex, oh, God is was art. 
9. This book was my book. Lena, a girl who is, by her own reckoning nothing special, is shown the way by Alex, the most magnificent guy, and follows her passions and awakens to the beauty of the world and poetry and sonnets and love. Okay, that last bit hasn't happened. I'm still technically a random nondescript girl, but, still, Lena reminded me that I want to throw myself on the mercy of some great passion, have one of those epic romances, take the romance with the tragedy, appreciate, wonder, awe, live, love - I could go on. This book spoke to me so deeply, you don't even know how much this affected me. 
10. As I was reading this, all I could think was "My God, this is literature - this is love!" This is what it's supposed to be. What everything was supposed to be. This made me cry and laugh and sigh and love and hope and dream and wonder and gush and long and yearn and desire and need and all sorts of other things. This book reminded me of goals I've had that had really been lost as impossible or immature. Apart from the Harry Potter series, I can't think of another book that influenced me as much as a person. 

Who Should Read It: 

• Everyone! This is a book for all time. 

Final Score: All that is great and good and wonderful in this world/10 

Read this! You won't be disappointed! I cannot tell you how much I loved this book, but you need to read it!

For more info, check out the author's website here.

Next I'll be reading Pandemonium, the sequel! Woooooo!